La bella vida

A conversation

2012-02-09T10:02:00.000-08:00

E: So are we doing something for Valentine's day next week?

J: Uhh....yeah...sure, of course.

E: Oh, we don't have to, if you didn't already make plans. We can just meet on Wed, like normal.

J: Oh ok. Wait........is this a test?

E: What?!? No, it's not a test. Seriously, it's not a test.

J:....if I say OK, is this still a test?

E:.....no, it is not a test.

J: Are you sure? I feel like I'm being tested. Either I've already failed this test or I'm the luckiest guy ever.

He makes me happy.

Mini Chinese New Year celebration

2012-01-23T21:03:00.000-08:00

This year for Chinese New Year's Eve, it was just my dad and me. We didn't think it was worth it to go through all the trouble to cook for 2 people, so we just went out to eat. And boy am I glad I did.

Since it was just the two of us, we didn't have to fight to eat, haha. I've never eaten so much lobster in my life <3

Finishing up the lobster chow mein :)

Happy Chinese New Year, everyone!

A walk down memory lane

2012-01-23T14:09:00.000-08:00

Last Saturday, I accompanied my dad for his fellowship's Chinese New Year potluck dinner. I didn't realize it, but we were actually going to church, not someone's house. I wasn't sure how I felt about that, since it's been a while since I've stepped foot on SJCAC grounds. It also wasn't their big annual Mandarin CNY celebration, just a small gathering of families sharing dinner in a small prayer room.

My initial reaction was to stay and hide in the room. Hey - that's where all the food would be anyways. But as the adult conversations in Chinese went on, I got....a little bored. It was only a reminder of how poor my Chinese language skills were, as I was only able to respond and follow in such a rudimentary level. There were 2 young girls there too, so I tried to make small talk with them. It was fine to exchange pleasantries, but after a couple of minutes, I found no connecting ground and there wasn't enough mutual interest for me to go on.

So I decided to explore. Honestly, the worship music in the sanctuary was what pulled me out of that room. I was curious. I wanted to see what was going on. I had a feeling it was the Saturday night youth group, the one I never went to, but always wanted to go to. Sure enough, as I walked in, it was the youth - a bunch of youngsters that I did not know. That was surreal to me, considering I grew up at this church and always felt this familiarity with everyone there, that I would (and should) know everyone there. But I found only found a few familiar faces, and they were mostly the staff and non-youth people there. I was surprised that Linda (The youth pastor's wife) was the first person to recognize me and say hello. I mean, she even knew my name, which was mind boggling, considering I probably only had a handful of conversations with her in my lifetime. Then a few others seemed to notice my presence and said hi. I couldn't help but smile at the sight of friendly faces - Pastor Dan, Pastor Ed Lee, Johnny, Bethany and Cheng (a new friend I made at another potluck event just last month). I don't know why, but I felt like I had completely broken ties with this church and especially the youth group, considering the generation gap. It was nice to catch up with all of them, but still....it was a little bizarre. I wasn't expecting those conversations that night. I was hoping to just stand in the back and admire, to witness how God was working at church. It was comforting, to say the least, to not only see but also to hear from people.

After a while, I decided to walk around the entire church, to revisit the old stomping grounds. It was nice to see how some things had changed while others had stayed the same. I saw the same hallway where I would sit and wait for my parents to finish their service so that we could leave immediately, I saw the same "do-not-run" sign near the kitchen that I (and every other child under the age of 10) happily ignored, and I saw the same chapel where we used to meet for Sunday services. I also walked through the children's center - still the same as before, but I have such vague recollections of my experience there that it all felt foreign to me anyways.

I had so many mixed emotions during that time. But what really struck me was all the life that was happening at the church. Many of the rooms were filled with children singing songs, playing games and reading the bible. It's not that this was unexpected, but it was so obvious that the church has grown, like in numbers. There are so many more children running around then I remembered. It used to be that only a few groups met at the church on Saturday nights, but last Saturday, it felt like there were at least 10-15 different groups all meeting at the church in different rooms. I couldn't help but feel so happy for SJCAC, that they're growing and in particular, there was such a need and focus on taking care of the children. As I walked by the children's center with its colorful painted hallway, one wall stopped me. It had children's letters to God and it was probably the cutest thing I had seen in a long time - wayyyy cuter than the Jimmy Kimmel video of kids responding to their Halloween candy being eaten by their parents. Their letters were so simple, sweet and heartfelt. A few gems:

Dear God, I love you so much! Sorry this is so short but I really want you to know I love you!!
Dear God, thank you for my family and friends. Please take care of the homeless people. I pray that they would all have a place to stay.
Dear God, I love you! Is it true that you hear me? But don't you hear everyone? How do you do it?

Man, there were so many more, but I can't remember them. Anyhoo, it was just adorable. I used to think that children's ministry was semi-useless. I mean, do kids even understand the Gospel at such a young age? The majority of them go through a rebellious age during their adolescence anyways, so what's the point? (Side note: when did I become so cynical towards kids?) But it was that night that I understood the value of children's ministry. That yes, in fact, children can and do understand the Gospel and can be taught to love the Lord and learn about Him. How beautiful is that? Man, it made me think about my future kids and how I want to make sure our family is Christ-centered. I want my kids to know and love the Lord right from the start. It's not easy, but it's not impossible.

Even as I wandered back into the sanctuary while the youth kids broke off into small groups for bible study, I stopped to think about the few people who were still there serving at the church, like Johnny and Bethany. I realized there is something truly beautiful about growing up in church and then pouring back into the church as a leader or counselor to kids. It's that whole "circle of life" thing, like family taking care of each other. As each generation comes, the older generation can step in to lead the way, provide guidance and a friendly committed face. And also having your life take place at this church - not only grow up there, but start a family and raise your kids there too. How amazing is that? It's so important to have a stable community and in that respect, I can understand the value to family churches.

Commitment. That's not easy, to stay in one place for so long, in this day and age. I used to think it was because of complacency, but now, I find it highly admirable. You could tell there was not one ounce of regret for those people who stayed at this church to serve. Perhaps they feel purpose, meaning and the calling to serve - I hope so, at least.

It made me think about how different my life would have been if I had stayed. It would have been easy - the commute is shorter, my parents already go there currently and I grew up there. I don't regret anything though - I truly believe there is a plan and purpose for all of God's plans and timing. I'm glad for the opportunity to come back and see that this isn't a bad church. Yes, I have past hurts, but no church is perfect. And SJCAC is learning, and growing. This new generation benefits from leaders who seek to make things better, to be less focused on themselves and more on God. And I wholeheartedly agree with them.

All in all, it was an interesting thought-provoking Saturday night. The food was delicious, but more importantly, I was so touched to see how God was working at this church. This church has a lot of hurt and negative associations for me, but for the first time, I was happy to be there, to see people and see how things have changed. God is really moving in SJCAC and I pray that He continues to lead the church to be a light in the community.

Word(s) from the wise

2012-01-09T10:45:00.000-08:00

Last night, I was truly blessed to be in the company of such great people. Joey's old professor invited us over to his (AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL) house for a family dinner, a monthly gathering of God's people to get together and talk about what it means to be a family of God. Seems generic and harmless enough, so I figured, why not? The hosts - Randy and Claudia - are quickly becoming 2 of my favorite people. They are such kind, wise, good Godly people who are truly approachable, funny and down to earth. Randy is seriously funny, expressive, a good listener and a great teacher - he knows to discern and teach the truth in such a meaningful, practical way. Claudia has the heart of a saint. She is a 2nd grade teacher, and she's the kind of teacher that every parent wants their children to have. She is sweet, loving, patient, wise and compassionate. She is simple, good natured and has a good sense of humor. The two of them go so well together.

I didn't really know to expect from having dinner with a bunch of 40-50 year olds, but since I already had so much respect for Randy and Claudia, I decided to tag along, hoping to soak in some more knowledge.

And I'm so glad I did. I was blessed with such great conversation about life, family, church, society, technology, social media and more. I also met another one of Joey's old professors, another one that has been really influential in his ministry. And I was so honored to have met her, I could definitely tell she was probably a tough teacher, but that she genuinely loves and believes in her role as an educator and a pastor. Oh, and she arrived with her husband in a BMW motorcycle, lol.

It was so refreshing to be in a different environment, especially one where we could talk about church life in such an honest and thoughtful way. It even made me miss school, the way that my mind used to be engaged in thinking so big picture about society and culture. I realized, I need more of this, in any form possible. I think the church needs to be able to talk freely about what's working and what's not working, for this generation, the older generation and the younger generation. Times are changing quickly, and we need Godly people to adapt to change but to also remain steadfast in the truth. We need to continue having dialogues like this with other people, other churches and other thought leaders for the sake and health of the Church.

Happy new year!

2012-01-03T09:59:00.000-08:00

S: So, what's your new year's resolution this year? To lose weight?
Me: What?!? No...
S: What? Isn't that everyone's resolution?
Me: No, it's not mine this year...
S: .....well, this is awkward.

Looks like my brother and I are off to a great start.
Happy new year.

Joy

2011-12-24T22:46:00.000-08:00

It's funny how easily music can move my soul. Thank you, Mickey Cho.
It's only 5 songs, but JOY is such a great album. Love it.

Feeling nostalgic tonight.
I'm seriously grateful for all the blessings in my life. My family, my friends, my job, my church, my life, the happy moments that make me laugh and the sad ones that make me a stronger person. Once in a while, I am reminded of all that I have, and I become overwhelmed at how loved I am. I don't deserve any of it. Thank you, Lord.

Merry Christmas (Eve), world.
2011 - it's been swell. What a tumultuous and wonderful year. Let's end it with a bang, yeah?

<3

In another life

2011-10-14T11:47:00.000-07:00

Ahh....the glory days.

Random crazy dreams

2011-09-16T11:11:00.000-07:00

I had the craziest dream last night/this morning. One of those dramatic action packed movie-type dreams. I was so enraptured by the dream, I (sub?)consciously didn't want to wake up or stop the dream. Thus, I was a little late to work this morning. Oops.

I won't tell you what the dream was about, but I'll tell you it included Cillian Murphy as the bad guy (haha), explosions, kidnapping/ransoming of my family, and an intense car chase scene. I should write a screenplay with this kind of stuff.

I love action movies. They're not my favorite genre, but if they're good (not just ridiculous bombs/explosions....*ahem*MichaelBay*cough*), they display a sense of courage. And it makes me wonder, if I was in a crazy life-threatening situation where I had to make split second decisions to save the lives of my family, friends, or even myself, would I act instinctively, smartly, courageously, sacrificially? The thought of it sometimes sends chills down my spine. Food for thought...

OK, back to work.
Happy Friday.

Dreaming of tapas and macaroons

2011-07-20T00:21:00.000-07:00

It's been a week since I was in Europe. I miss it, a lot. I finally went through all 2400+ pictures that I took and I've realized that I'm not a very good photographer, haha. Oh well. I like them anyways. And it's true that the most interesting pictures are the ones with people in it, so I wish I took more pictures with Shannon and me in it. But it's always so awkward to ask other people to take pictures for us though. Half the time I'm worried they're going to run off with my camera and the other half I'm concerned they don't know how to take pictures. Luckily, no one ran off with my mom's precious Nikon D40 (that she graciously lent me), and I guess I managed to get a few good photos of the two of us together.

Anyhoo....I miss Spain and Switzerland. I miss the culture, the landscape, the city life, the art, the food, the plaza, the lifestyle, the fashion, all of it. I'd probably be broke if I lived there, but I think I'd be happy. I hear Switzerland is the second happiest country in the world.

I've yet to post pictures on Facebook. But for you lucky blog readers (yes, all 5 of you), here is a preview. Enjoy!

Parque de la Ciutadella (Barcelona, Spain)

Bern, Switzerland

More pictures to come....eventually!

The Girl Effect: The Clock is Ticking

2011-04-19T12:54:00.000-07:00

I wish I said things like this

2011-04-15T16:39:00.000-07:00

"Certain people have a way of saying things that shake us at the core. Even when the words do not seem harsh or offensive, the impact is shattering. What we could be experiencing is the intent behind the words. When we intend to do good, we do. When we intend to do harm, it happens. What each of us must come to realize is that our intent always comes through."

- Thurgood Marshall

(thanks Danielle!)

Movie fun.

2011-04-06T11:30:00.000-07:00

[Trailer begins...]

Joey: Yes!! (shakes my shoulders with excitement)
Esther: Huh?....oh...hello, James McAvoy.
Joey: ...who's James McAvoy?

Verse for the week: Philippians 4:13

2011-03-04T11:45:00.000-08:00

OMG TGIF TGIF TGIF.

This has been the craziest week ever. I've been pushed to the max at work and I have a feeling it's only going to get worse in the next few weeks. Sigh. I guess that's what happens when 2 people leave your team - the rest of us are stuck taking on extra workload on top of our normal responsibilities. Fabulous.

Some thoughts and reflections from this week:

I don't know how managers/senior leaders do it but having back-to-back meetings all day is insane. How does anyone get any actual work done? All your time is spent talking and being in meetings. Time to work from home....sigh.
People think I have the best (and easiest) job ever just because I work in Corporate Social Responsibility. Guess what? It's not all fun and games. Don't get me wrong, I do like my job and my team, but we have to deal with the same frustrations and difficulties as any other department.
People like to complain. A lot. I've learned to gradually stop caring. Or else I'd go insane.
I really miss my team members who left. Not just because I have to do more work, but I miss their presence and insight. I guess that's how it goes though, right?

On a random note: it's amazing how much confidence you can exude with a dress and a pair of heels. It's also amazing that so much attention only shows how very self-conscious and insecure you really are.

I'm ready for my whirlwind weekend.

"I can do all this through him who gives me strength."

omg are you serious?

2011-02-28T16:49:00.000-08:00

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that they're making a sequel....but I am.

Rainy day readings

2011-02-25T09:21:00.001-08:00

Happy Friday!

For your enjoyment, a fun and interesting article. Read it, and then let's discuss!

Where Have the Good Men Gone?

Winter wonderland

2011-01-06T10:13:00.000-08:00

The drive getting here was pretty scary and awful, but so worth it once I got to see this.

Which Actresses Do You Irrationally Hate?

2011-01-05T10:14:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year, blog! I can't believe it's already 2011...

It's the second day back at work and I'm still mentally catching up. The great thing is - it's already Wednesday, which means we're halfway to the weekend, woohoo!

I saw this article and it made me laugh, mostly because it's so true:
Which Actresses Do You Irrationally Hate?

Katie Holmes, Jessica Biel and Angelina Jolie are on my list.

Enjoy! :)

Phone call to Africa

2010-12-04T15:13:00.001-08:00

My older brother Solomon is in the Peace Corps right now. He's located in Togo, Africa for the next 1.5 years. It's already been 6 months since he's left and I've felt pretty numb about the whole situation. We weren't exactly close - we fought all the time about the most random stupidest things - but at the same time, he understood me like no one else in this world. He understood the frustrations and uneasiness I felt when interacting with my parents, he understood the demands of the working life that I was going through, and he understood that anger I felt when it came to dealing with our younger brother Stephen.

But to sum up the gist of our relationship, we didn't get along very well. It's taken years for us to be able to talk to each other as people, not just as the older brother-younger sister dynamic. But I can't deny the fact that he's shaped a lot of the person I've become. My stubbornness, my ambitions, my sarcasm, my need for independence in all aspects of my life - a lot of it comes from him.

This morning my mom told me she bought a calling card so we could talk to Solomon. It's been a while since we've heard from him via email so she was starting to get worried. I didn't really feel like talking to him so I didn't really share the same concern. But she finally got a hold of him, and you could see the worry melt off her face. And as she continued asking the standard mother questions - are you healthy? are you eating well? what's the weather like? do you need anything? do you need money? - it was comforting to hear his muffled voice on the other line. I could hear his annoyance with my mom's silly questions ("Mom I'm 28!" Haha....seriously...) but still humoring her by answering all of them. And then my mom passed the phone to me, and I froze. I didn't know what to say - I didn't have much to say to him. So as we awkwardly started a conversation, the comfortability of his voice started to come back to me. He was still the same brother I remember, but he was also a little nicer than I had imagined, so maybe Africa is changing him.

As we were talking, he kept asking me a lot of questions (mostly about work), I kept wondering if he really misses us. If he misses California, talking in English, paved roads, technology (his internet connection there really sucks), American culture, entertainment, and any other aspect of his old life. He's too stubborn to ever say it - that he misses his friends and *gasp* maybe even his family - but I almost wanted to believe I could hear it in his voice. But I don't want to let my imagination run too far.

After I ended the conversation and passed the phone to my dad for a few words, I couldn't help but smile. I know my mom felt a lot better after talking to him, but I never realized that I would feel better too.

I feel pretty guilty, but I don't think about him too much. I pray for him every day briefly, but I don't consciously think about him and his situation. I miss him, but not in the way that hurts every single day. But I wonder if it's that I've put my emotions towards my brother in a nice little box and stored it in a closet somewhere (eProps for you if you get the Desperate Housewives reference :P). And it wasn't until I talked to him did I realize how much of my life - my being - is missing, without him here. If he were still here, things would be so different at home. But I'm trusting God that this season in our lives was meant to be this way - for him to be in Africa and for me to be at home.

I'm grateful I got to talk to him this morning. I'm so glad he's doing well and that he's safe and healthy. It was a nice reminder that I need to pray about him more and be more grateful for the family I have been given.

...thanks God.

Music rut

2010-12-02T09:24:00.000-08:00

I've been in a music rut for the past few weeks.

Rihanna - overrrated and overplayed. Seriously - "Only Girl" is really annoying and "What's my name?" lost its charm when I heard a 12-year old girl singing it while I was waiting in lines at Claires. Yes, I felt pretty lame at that moment.

Enrique "I like it"- omg...seriously? That's the best you've got? What an annoying and stupid song. Enrique - you're such a sell out. I cringe every time I hear him shout "One love one love..." in the beginning....And Wild 94.9 and movin 99.7, you need to stop playing it.

Bruno Mars - "Just the Way You Are" has lost all appeal to me and "Grenade" is just silly. Why would you choose this as a followup song to "Just the Way You Are"? So what happened to that girl that you'd never ask her to change? Did she turn on you or something?

Nicki Minaj - I just don't get the appeal. Her rapping/talking is kinda creepy.

And there are so many more....
------------------------

So I decided to switch to Christmas music on my iPod. (Sidenote: I'm surprised there isn't more Christmas music on the radio...) I figured it's been a while since I've heard these songs so it would be a nice change and it would help me get into the holiday spirit. And it worked...for a while.

I put my Holiday genre on shuffle and funnily enough, I would hear the same Christmas song play right after the other. I think I heard "It Came Upon a Midnight Clear, O Holy Night, Silent Night, Angels We Have Heard on High," by 3 different artists in (almost) immediate succession of each other, haha. I thought it was pretty funny at first, but then it got annoying, because some of the versions were pretty cheesy. But then I realized, most Christmas music can be pretty cheesy.

So music fail.

Well, not all the Christmas music is bad. So I'll continue to listen to these shuffled Christmas songs. Then maybe if I have time, I'll put the ones I actually like in a formal playlist.

If you have any recommendations, I'd be more than open to hear them. Thanks! :)

And Merry Christmas everyone!

According to Joe and Christina Aguilera (and 98 Degrees and Chris Brown...),

this Christmas will be
a very special Christmas
for me.

Guardian Protector

2010-12-01T14:41:00.000-08:00

I'm ESFJ.
(*Note: take the results with a grain of salt. I'm slightly pessimistic when it comes to these types of tests. I seriously feel like I change monthly. But hey - they're kinda fun to take!)

What are you?

Hello blog.

2010-11-29T23:23:00.000-08:00

I haven't written in this blog in a while. I'm not really sure why. I looked over a few of my entries and they almost seem silly now. I also found like 5 posts that are still in draft form - I'm not sure why I never published them....

I want to try to write more. But I can't promise you it'll be anything profound. In fact, I can probably guarantee that it won't be, haha.

For example - I'll start with this:

It's freaking cold.

/end thought

Yeah...we'll see how long this lasts...

Bronze medal for Dominique Dawes

2010-04-30T13:38:00.000-07:00

I don't normally share articles on my blog, but this was such a touching story. Well, the situation is bittersweet but this made it a little nicer.

Apparently, at the 2000 Summer Olympics, the Chinese gymnast Dong Fangxiao, who received the bronze medal, was actually underage at the time, so she has been stripped of her medal. The bronze medal is now being given (back) to the right winner - USA's gymnast Dominique Dawes.

You can read the article here.

What I like about this article and this story is how humble and gracious Dominique is. I vaguely remember watching these Olympics back in 2000. I do know that team USA isn't the world's best, but that they were really seeking to just be on the podium (ie just get bronze...which is still an awesome goal, of course).

Dominique seems genuinely happy and proud of her career and accomplishments. She seems to be a sweet person (I dunno if it's just the propaganda in the media, but whatevs). And I really like her statement about feeling bad for the Chinese gymnasts. Not because she's taking her medal away, but because the girl probably didn't have a choice at the time - the government probably told her to lie and just win. It's probably true, and this blog post isn't to get me started on Chinese government politics, but it's just really sad. Why does China keep doing this? When will they ever learn?

I hope this serves as a lesson for China to give them the sense that justice needs to be had in the end and they can't keep doing this. Sure, it may have taken 10 years, but it's still important, for integrity's sake. I hope they don't continue to torture little girls into making them into prized ponies and that Chinese girls can get a voice in their careers.

Yay for Dominique :)

Brotherly love

2010-04-23T11:12:00.000-07:00

Man, I feel like I will never understand the sibling dynamic.

One minute I'm yelling at my brother telling him to shut up because he's annoying the heck out of me, and the next minute I'm crying so hard from laughing that I'm actually worried about my safety as I'm driving and cannot see clearly from the tears.

Oh man.

That's all for now. I don't feel like writing a full-on thoughtful entry, so enjoy for now.

Looking forward to a wonderful weekend.... :)

Music for the soul

2010-03-29T21:47:00.001-07:00

I went to the John Mayer concert last Friday and he was amazing. No real surprise there. Yes, he's a jerk, a womanizer, and quite possibly a big douche bag. But you can't deny how talented he is, and how very passionate he is about music. You can see it in his face - in fact, he makes really ugly faces as he plays. But who cares? He is so good. When people ask me why I like John Mayer, I usually say that I love his songs because they individually convey an emotion that I can relate to. Even if it's a moment in time, a phase in your life or even philosophical musings, they are thoughts and feelings I have felt at some point time. And there is something so satisfying about having a song completely match your emotion.

I think that's why people say music has the ability to heal. Because in that moment when the words are sung and the guitar is strumming, there is a perfect congruency that satisfies the soul in feeling understood. Which is what we desire - to feel not alone in the situation we're in or that what we're thinking or feeling is not crazy. It makes you feel validated, and in that moment, the world's not so bad anymore.

I truly do love the power of music. Thank God for music, for instruments, for voices to sing, for ears to listen, and hearts to understand.

In the spirit of singing and music, I loved worship on Sunday. I have no idea why. But it was so good. In that time, I wasn't worried about how nasally I sounded, if I was off-key, if my clapping was off beat, if I should sing in a higher/lower octave (yes, I think about these things a lot, maybe too much), and I wasn't worried about what the people around me were thinking. In my head, I sounded good, hehe. (Sorry to my neighbors who may have disagreed!) And all I wanted to do was to keep singing until my lungs gave out. I wish I had a prettier voice, that I had perfect pitch, that I could naturally harmonize. But during worship, I didn't worry about those things and just enjoyed singing to God. Not sure what made this Sunday different, but I want to keep worshiping and praising God that joyously.

Praise the Lord :)

It's raining!

2010-01-20T15:25:00.000-08:00

Yup yup! It's been raining. Like a lot. And actually it's a little scary, but for the most part, it's enjoyable - especially when I'm safe and dry inside four walls, haha.

It seems fitting because I believe it was about a year ago around this time that I first came up with this blog. It was rainy a lot, but not quite as hard, and it was really peaceful. Too bad things have been pretty hectic lately.... I'm too busy running around to really enjoy the simple sound of rain falling on the rooftops. I'm hoping it will rain tonight so I can :)

I also remember that when I first started this blog, I wanted to find some cool "rainy" picture or template to make my blog layout. Unfortunately, due to my lack of creativity, unsuccessful Google searching, and inept knowledge of HTML or web design in general, I didn't find any rain-type blog layout I liked. I only found weird anime or emo blog layouts which were completely not the look and feel I was going for.

So if anyone would like to take 10 minutes to show Esther how to take a picture and make her blog look cool, that would be much appreciated :)

Oh - and Happy 2010, world :)

A day in the life

2009-09-18T10:43:00.001-07:00

Hello!

I seem to be running on empty these days. Not sure how I get through...but I do, nonetheless. PraisetheLord.

I just wanted to point out some things that have been going on. I'm going to make it into a list, because I like lists :)

I love love love love love love love my SG. They amaze me every week and it warms my heart to see all of them there on Tuesday nights. What a wonderful way to be blessed during my work week.
I am UNBELIEVABLY excited for retreat this weekend!! It's starting later today!! :) Despite all the headaches that planning a retreat can be, it's all part of the process. I love watching things all come together and seeing people have a great time. I'm praying for a renewed sense of community within the LW family <3 [Note: I'm sorry if in the process of retreat planning that I yelled at you. Don't take it personally, really.]
Gossip Girl season 3 premiere this week = what a disappointment. It was so blase. Zero plot/juicy drama. Lameness. I'm hoping it gets better, but to be honest, I have a feeling I'll be watching it anyways. It's my favorite guilty pleasure. On another TV sidenote, I watched the premiere of Vampire Diaries this week too, lol. Hey! I was curious! It was alright, kind of cheesy in a predictable overdramatic way. But hey, this whole vampire thing is kinda fun to watch :)
My mom was in an art reception last week! It was really small and it's not like she won anything, but it was so cool to see her painting among so many others. It's always been her dream to be an artist and while this is just a small step, I'm super duper proud of her. You should see our house - it's full of paintings now. We don't even have enough frames to put them up...
I love my Up poster. Thank you Gene Kim :D
I laugh a lot more these days. Thank you Alan Le ;)
I want to go somewhere sometime soon. Not sure where exactly nor when, but I do. I sometimes get bored with the monotony that comes from working the full-time job. (I'm not complaining, I know I'm lucky, but I just need a little vacation or something to refresh...)
The first rain of the season came last Sunday! Man, I loved it! Ok, driving home was a little scary, yet exciting at the same time. Go me and my awesome blog :) [Note to self: figure out how to use 4WD on car. Dude - you friggin' paid for it, now use it!]

Ok, random thought post done.
Hope you're all doing well.
:D

Signing out,

Miss Esther

God's secretary

2009-09-08T12:36:00.000-07:00

Today I was thinking about what it means to be admin. Well, more specifically, I was thinking about all the stuff I have to help take care for the LW Fall Retreat. It can be a bit overwhelming at times, keeping track of every little detail, emailing people, collecting money, etc.

Then I wondered about God and how He takes care of every person, keeps track of every detail of our lives. I wonder how He does it. What if God has an awesome secretary that knows everything, has all our information on a pretty spreadsheet that she/he updates God on every morning?

And I thought, dude - I soooo want to be God's secretary one day. How cool would that be?!? To know all the awesome stuff He has prepared for every person on earth.

I want to be God's favorite administrator :)

Now that I have that goal in mind, it makes admin stuff less stressful and more enjoyable, hehe.

But seriously! I think now that I remember that all that I do is for God, and I need to be working as if I were working directly with/for God, it makes me feel more motivated and joyful in doing the work that needs to be done for His church, for LW. It's not about the amount of work I do and it's not about me and the title it brings, but it's for Him, for God's kingdom. I guess sometimes I forget why I do what I do for church, so it's nice to remember and stay focused on the ultimate goal.

Wow, it's so funny that it's the simplest lessons in life that are the hardest to learn.

Well, let's see how I feel in a week :P

"April & Oliver": a book review

2009-08-24T21:39:00.000-07:00

April and Oliver
by Tess Callahan

Esther's rating: 3 out of 5 stars

So I elected this book as my official summer reading book. I like having my one frivilous cheesy mindless fun summer read. But I didn't know which one to choose, so I randomly looked around at multiple girly-looking books at Borders one day and found this book. [I then went home and ordered it on Amazon since it was cheaper this way ;)]

(I've learned this is not the best way to find a good book to read. I'd recommend asking friends...but hey, it was a learning experience :))

The story is about 2 childhood best friends - April and Oliver. They parted ways once Oliver left for college while April stayed at home and worked. Many years pass without much communication until April's brother Buddy dies in a car accident. Oliver returns home for the funeral and to take care of April. April's life has spiraled out of control - her ex-boyfriend is still stalking her despite a restraining order, she's been working in a bar for years with no prospect or desire for a future career, she lives by herself in a dingy old apartment near a train station, and she doesn't have any friends. Oliver's life, on the other hand, is almost picture perfect - he's engaged to Bernandette who teaches disabled children, in law school, and has close relationships with his family. April and Oliver are once again drawn to each other. April's the kind of girl who makes bad choices and Oliver's the kind of guy to want to protect and save her. The story sucks you in, as you learn not only how much has changed since they were kids, but new revelations of deep secrets that threatened to challenge the way they both look at life and love.

/synopsis

Ok, even the synopsis sounds a little cheesy. But hey, I've read the entire Twilight series. I can do cheesy. I even secretly love it. But this book wasn't quite as satisfying as I would have liked. There were moments when I thought it was about to get good and juicy into the drama, but then it would leave me disappointed or just rolling my eyes at its predictability. I also grew to not like both April and Oliver's characters, which was probably a huge factor in why I didn't love the book, considering they are the main characters. April is this train wreck of a person - she makes bad choices in relationships (well, in life really), is stuck in a dead in job and has no ambition whatsoever, always wear inappropriate clothes, and pushes people away emotionally. Oliver is positioned as this saintly guy with his perfect life and fiance but with a side of him that wants to break away from it all, a side that ONLY April understands. He gave up his passion for music (he even gave up Juillard....yeah...who does that?!?) to become a lawyer. And he feels this need to always "save" April, because he knows her best, he knows how messed up she is. So maybe I don't enjoy this type of characterization, of the female being this damsel in distress and the guy as someone who's the ONLY one who can save her. And during this whole time, he's wrestling with all this sexual tension because the author's trying so hard to explain how he's been in love with her for many years and now it's this irresistible passion that has been reignited. But quite frankly, I don't buy it. Well, I don't like it either. The ending was a surprise, but not in a good way. It left me feeling so empty, like there were so many things that needed closure, but I wasn't given that, as the reader. So very disappointing.

Looking back, though, there was a good amount of drama that kept me going. It would lull a bit at times, drag on about how beautiful and subtly sexy April was or how the dark and gloomy weather reflected the conflict within Oliver's heart. But overall, it was entertaining. I guess it did its job as being a fun summer read, but it just didn't quite hit the spot as well as I'd like - which is usually a happy ending with good drama and closure. That's why I give it 3 stars out of 5. I don't think I'd recommend it immediately to everyone. But it would be nice to have someone else read it so I can talk to them about it :)

My second book of choice (if I ever have time!) is Twenties Girl by Sophie Kinsella. This is another summer-type book. So even though summer is coming to a close, I'm hoping I'll still get to read this, and I hope it's good!

I miss just reading for fun, so I appreciated April and Oliver for the enjoyment of reading for simply the sake of reading.

What about you, fellow readers? Picked up any good books lately? I'm always open to recommendations! :)

Because words mean more than what I can verbally conjure up

2009-08-10T15:11:00.000-07:00

Hey little brother,

Thanks for chatting with me last night. I was super tired, but it was totally worth it. I'd forgotten how nice it is to have someone in the family to relate to, to laugh with, to share stupid stories and who can make fun of me and my craziness without offending me. That's something only you can share with me. I pretend that you annoy me, when in fact, I really cherish the few times I get to see you in person. I forget how much we are alike in our humor, mannerisms and the way we view things. So it's nice to be reminded that I'm not alone in thinking that the Ray family is crazy, but that it's ok.

I'm sorry I was gone all weekend. I'll make it up to you somehow. Maybe we can go shopping again :) But I'm glad you got to spend *quality* time with Mom and Dad. They may be cheesy, but they mean well. Enjoy your break. Be nice to Mom and Dad while I'm away at work during the day. I know I yell and nag at you a lot - I don't know why I do it, why my voice naturally goes up and I go into super sarcastic mode - but I'm trying to be a better sister (and someday - a friend) to you. I'm here for you whenever you need me. I will always have a special place in my heart for you.

~Big sis

P.S. I'm sorry GI Joe sucked. And thanks for the heads up. You're gonna save me $10.50 :)

Summer time

2009-07-25T13:36:00.000-07:00

I just realized that summer is almost over.
It's almost AUGUST!!
Not only that, I've been officially a working girl for 6 months now. Wow.
Praise God :)

Man, time sure does fly when you're having fun...

I haven't done these in a while, so I'll do one again.

My happy list:
*Falling in love with a new song
*Shopping! With sales! (extra bonus if I have a coupon)
*Singing at the top of my lungs while driving
*Stargazing and moonlight
*Corny jokes
*Home cooked meals
*Mom's paintings all over the living room
*Cheez-Its
*Ice cream
*Sunsets

What makes you happy? :)

Greetings from my temperature controlled environment

2009-07-15T14:58:00.001-07:00

Why doesn't anybody blog anymore? I have nothing to read these days!
And Twitter's not as exciting as I thought it would be.
(Sigh...I miss Joanne...my faithful blogger. But she has a legit excuse, being in Nicaragua and all.)

Work is work. So very unmotivated to do many things. It helps having my manager back. Kicks me in the butt every once in the while and makes me stay on top of things.

Home is home. Mom is excited because she's a finalist in an art competition that she entered. Yay!! :) Dad spent an entire day in his bathroom fixing things. I saw this morning that he fixed and replaced the bathroom sinks. They look really nice. But when I left, he was completely passed out, haha. My poor dad...I'm pretty sure he only did it because Mom probably asked him to...repeatedly...Solomon is good. Bugs me a lot for candy. And ice cream. And Cheez-its. And Stephen? Well, he's still in Irvine. Should be coming home around the end of the month. I wonder what it will be like to have 5 people in the house again.

Church is church :) Congrats to Sam for graduating! And hello to Emily who is now in SoCal! I miss you already!! And lots of love to the LW family <3 The summertime is interesting in that there are less people around in Berkeley and at church. It reminds me the earlier days when church service was about 40 people. I love how wonderful and big our church is getting now, but there's always a specialness to the intimacy of a smaller church. So I've enjoyed getting to know people better, now that there's less people around. Yay for friendships! :)

I've been thinking more and more about my future. Graduate school? For business? For psychology? For international affairs? It all sounds so exciting and scary. I think I just need to pick one. Is it bad that I don't really care about making a living? I just want to learn. A lot. I guess that's the dream though - to find a job that I love based on the subject matters that I enjoy most. But it's all so interesting!! Sigh....

I really want this poster

Ok end of random meaningless post and back to work. Hope you're having a good day!

Sólo tres más días...

Stephen n me

2009-07-07T13:49:00.000-07:00

After a rough morning, a little email from my brother (and a few good gchat conversations) made me smile :)

Here's how it started:

Hey, I don't know if you're planning on flying home after summer school, but if you are, Southwest is having a 48-hour sale, so check it out. Tickets are as low as $30, which is cheaper than driving!
~Esther

His response?

Just checked, a round trip would be $139. Either I fail at life or you fail at life, and I'm guessing that it's you that fails, not me, because I'm awesome and can write really long run-on sentences that have no purpose other than to semi-insult you in a lame fashion.

That is all.
Stephen

LOL. Man, that pretty much sums up our relationship.
Thanks Stephen - I needed that :)

11 more days...

Random ruminations at the Beanery

2009-07-04T17:24:00.000-07:00

I wish I had something to blog about. I just feel an itch to write. But alas, I don't think I have anything that sophisticated to talk about. So this will be a compilation of a few little random thoughts that are floating in my head.

Twitter is weird. I don't like their reply mechanism - it's not intuitive at all. Why would i want to see my response as my own status update? (Unless I'm doing it wrong....someone please help me tweet better!)

I'm loving Mat Kearney's new CD. It's so chill, so very enjoyable. It's the perfect CD to listen to while sipping on an iced coffee at a cute lil cafe or overlooking the bay. I loved the single "Closer to Love" so much that I just randomly decided to take a chance and bought the whole CD while I was at Best Buy yesterday. It was the first CD I bought in a LONG time - everything's all downloaded from online these days. Felt kind of nice to have the CD in my hands and look at the booklet (which included lyrics!!!). Good stuff. (Oh - and now I'm "following" Mat Kearney on Twitter now!!)

I love my car. I love my car. I love my car. I love my car :)

I was talking to Joey today about how this "cafe" lifestyle has changed so drastically in the last decade or so. It seems like cafes/coffee shops have become such a common place to meet up, hang out, have formal/informal meetings, study or do whatever it is you want to do there. It's like it's not even about the coffee; sometimes I'm not even in the mood for coffee, but I'll automatically suggest to meet people at a coffee shop because it's easy, convenient, and a comfortable place to be. The ambiance is also important, the music they play, the chairs/seating, the service, how many outlets are available so you can plug in your laptop or whatever, or if they have wi-fi available. All these things are also important to the success/popularity of a coffee shop these days, in addition to serving quality and tasty coffee and snacks. I don't feel like things were like this 10 years ago. My, how times are changing.

And I also feel more and more like a yuppie. Or a hipster. Oh boy...next thing you know I'll be moving to the Mission buying vintage furniture for my overpriced apartment. Haha.

China team just left this morning. I have mixed emotions when I think about them. One, I think they're crazy, almost irrational - there is a very high possibility that they might get caught/imprisoned/quarantined/interrogated/who knows what else. But another part of me really admires them a lot for taking that risk, that leap of faith in trusting that God is sending them on this journey and that He will protect them. And I bet it's going to be amazing. Regardless if no one is saved or if all their ministry stuff gets confiscated, I know each of them will take away something really important, really meaningful from their time in China. It's weird when I think about China. I normally have a negative reaction at first - I feel almost no attachment, no pride in that country. (Any pride I do have, I usually say it's for Taiwan, which is very important to distinguish.) There are so many things wrong with the country - in the little I've learned about the history of China, I've read about the corrupt politics/logic that policies have been put in place...it makes me angry to hear about it - but at the end of the day, I remember that one of my relatives or ancestors came from there at some point in time. I will never be separated from that culture. It will always live within me. I mean, it's not like it affects my everyday life. But it humbles me and serves as a reminder that I am who I am because of that country. In some way, shape, or form, a relative's tradition has been passed down in my family's blood and it's a part of me. And I just need to respect that and learn to love the people, not necessarily the corrupt government or politics. The people there are just people; they're only human, with similar goals of survival, with the same need for love. And for that, I am jealous that I don't get to go with the China team to experience that firsthand. God bless you, China team. May God guide your paths and bring you safely home in 2-3 weeks. We'll be waiting here, ready to hear the good news.

That's it for now. The Beanery is lame and decided it wants to close early for July 4th so I must pack up and leave soon.

Happy 4th of July!

Oh, how therapeutic it is to write..and pretend you have something important to say...
I love blogging :)

Things that make me smile today

2009-06-24T13:45:00.000-07:00

Fallin For You - Colbie Caillat

Sigh...
Cheesy, but I love it!

In other news...

Happy Birthday Gina!!!
I *heart* you.
Like, a lot.
:)

SD weekend

2009-06-08T11:50:00.000-07:00

There's nothing like being with old friends. The ones you can laugh with and the ones you can sit in perfect silence with. And not just any old laugh, it's like a special laugh that you've reserved just for special people.

What a good weekend :)

I've truly missed Eileen over the last year. I can't believe it's been so long already! And the best part? The moment we're together, we're back to the way things were. We can be totally comfortable with each other, we still remember and joke about the same silly things, and we still know each other better than we realize.

"Still."

This word kind of stuck out to me this weekend. That after all this time, we still can be friends. As if we passed some test. And honestly, there was a time when I wasn't sure if we were going to remain friends. Distance is a tricky thing - as much as the world is connected now, there's nothing quite like being in the physical presence of someone. In fact, the new technologies can almost hinder the relationship, because we can become so dependent on it and then the relationship becomes almost artificial without the hug or smile that usually goes along with each conversation.

Still...
- she encourages me and asks me questions that no one else does.
- we laugh so hard when the 3 of us get together.
- she gets nervous talking about her boyfriend (hehe).
- I want to tell her every little thing because I know she'll appreciate it.
- she does funny things but refuses to admit she's awkward (lol).

Still...
- she has a special place in my heart :)

San Diego was awesome!

Beautiful weather. Beautiful scenery.
Driving around in Eileen's pimp ride.
GOOD food. Obscene amounts of it, too.
Questions galore.
Hours and hours of mindless and also thought-provoking conversations.
Burning many calories from laughing...and then gaining them back from all the food.
Panda viewing! At the SD Zoo! And free tickets!
Good company - Annie, Eileen and Sareen...BFFs!! <3

Thanks Eileen (and Sareen) for a wonderful weekend!
I wish I could have packed you two in my suitcase and brought you back to NorCal....WHERE YOU BELONG!! ;)

Miss you and love you always.

Well wishes and memories

2009-06-02T14:56:00.001-07:00

It's my friend Meera's birthday today. She's my Adobe buddy from last summer when we were interns. Since it's her birthday, I got really nostalgic just thinking about her and all our intern friends last summer. And so begins another blog entry....

Sometimes I really miss being an intern. Being an intern at Adobe is pretty great - the pay is pretty sweet (or corporate speak = "highly competitive"), the environment is super nice and big (we each got our own offices at headquarters), we had biweekly luncheons where we got to socialize with other ppl our age and also learn more about the cool stuff Adobe's doing (and also got free lunch!), we do fun social stuff and you meet some really cool and smart people.

Last summer, my buddies were Denise, Vera, Anthony, and Meera. There were others too, but these were my main intern friends. Here's some background:

Denise = HR intern in charge of the intern program/activities that we did. This was awesome because I got to talk to her about all the interns and also suggest some cool things we could all do. And everyone knew who she was, so she could send out emails for us. I met her on the first day at orientation. We hit it off pretty quickly :)
Vera = MBA intern in supply chain management. Vera was sooo cool. She's like 27, but she loved to hang out with us college people. She's even married! Lol...but since she was separated from her husband for the summer (they live in Texas), she probably enjoyed the companions. She was just a lot of fun to talk to, and she was my gym buddy for the last month of our internship :)
Anthony = Software engineer intern. He's now full-time, so we're full-time employee buddies too :) Anthony was cool cuz he was always up for anything. He seemed to know the downtown area better than most of us, so he was always suggesting places to go after work.
Meera = Advanced Technology Labs intern. Love this girl! I didn't actually get to know her until about the later half of the summer. She and I just clicked really well. I used to love it when she'd just pop by my office and we'd just talk for like "10 minutes" (which really became like an hour). Really sweet girl...I wish she was back this summer! But she's finishing up her dissertation....boo....

After becoming friends with Meera, she brought her own circle of friends (Ben, John, Siddharth, Varun, etc.) and we all just hung out. We even had a hotel party in downtown once. It was so much fun.

I really miss that. I miss the connections and friendships you make with people. It's so much harder when you start working, especially at a corporation like Adobe where most people are older. It makes life more enjoyable, knowing you have a buddy to talk to about non-work stuff. I mean, you're devoting the majority of your time at this workplace, so it's nice to know there are people that you can relate to, that actually care about you.

It's easy to just get caught up in work, but that's no fun. And one of my biggest pet peeves is when people talk about work during lunch. Sure, it makes sense, and unfortunately I find myself doing it sometimes. But seriously though - you get this little break in the day to step out of your office and away from your computer to talk to people, to connect with another human being. So....connect! Talk! About life! Not just work! You have plenty of opportunities to talk about work!!

I wonder if the problem is me...that I don't take work as seriously as some people do. Hmm....

Anyhoo....happy birthday Meera! I miss you tons and wish you were here this summer.

And here's to hoping I make more friends at Adobe :)

My first car!

2009-05-25T11:34:00.000-07:00

I'm so unbelievably happy right now I could almost cry.
ALMOST....hehe...

I got a car I got a car I got a car!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And not just any car - a 2008 Rav4 4WD, baby!!! I'm so excited!! And still in a little bit of disbelief.

I've been wanting my own car, probably since I was like 14. And I had been realistically searching for over a month. I'd been able to save up and my dad was ready to help me find a good car. We had been searching for so long, looking at different older models of Rav4s. It's really hard to buy a used car, because you don't get to be too picky about the color/miles/features - it's pretty much take it or leave it. And I REALLY wanted a Rav4....which has been uber frustrating to find - apparently they're pretty popular these days! And not only that, I wanted it to be a 4WD, which not only means it's more money, but it's harder to find. But it felt wrong to buy an SUV that wasn't a 4WD.

God's timing is so funny sometimes. On Saturday, my dad and I went to the Stevens Creek Toyota to check out their inventory. They had a 2005 Rav4 4WD that I really liked - it had like 52K miles on it (decent for a 2005) and it was black, pretty sleek, and in great condition. But it was WAY more expensive than it should have been. So once we sat down to talk numbers, it just got ugly. My dad likes to play hardball and sees how willing the salesperson is to negotiate, and this particular guy was definitely not. He then proceeded to give my dad and me a speech about how we would never ever be able to find a car this good for the price he was asking. He even tried to guilt my dad saying "this is for your daughter, sir. How can you put such a low price on her safety?" Blah blah blah....then he told us we needed to do more research to get a more realistic idea of what price range to expect for this kind of car.

WOW - I was SOOOOOOOO pissed when I left the dealership. I felt so insulted and he just put me in a bad mood for the next few hours. Yeah - I get that he's trying to sell cars, but I hate when car salesmen try to manipulate or guilt my dad because it's for me, his daughter. Whatever dude - I will not be guilted into buying a car!

Argh...so that was Saturday. Car buying was a failure. But it's ok - my dad says it's all a learning experience and not to give up hope. (I felt pretty defeated and hopeless at this point...)

And then Sunday, my dad calls and says he found a great deal at Fremont Toyota. So I hopped on the BART after church (sorry Letty for missing your dinner!!) and we headed towards Fremont Toyota. My dad had actually found a couple of great deals on 2008 Rav4 4WD cars. AND THEY WERE THE SAME PRICE AS THE 2005 RAV4 FROM STEVENS CREEK. I almost thought it was too good to be true, like a typo or something.

But even then, I didn't want to get my hopes up, so I didn't really think too hard about it.

And then I saw it - my beautiful dream car. The beautiful silver 2008 Rav4 with 4WD. I even test drove it, and loved it, of course. But still - I didn't want to get too attached to it.

And then we sat down again to talk numbers.
Their asking price? $6,000 more than what they advertised online.
And I thought, well, here we go again. He's going to yell at us again.
But the whole time, my dad just said to be patient (in Chinese, of course!). Essentially he was saying "watch and learn."

I don't know how my dad does it. He's able to play hardball but still gain rapport with the salesmen. He doesn't budge from what he knows he wants, but then asserts them that he wants to help them out too in the most genuine way. Dang...those are some good people skills.

I thought it was going to be hopeless again because once my dad gave him his price range, the salesman just said there was NO way he could get that price. (And my dad knew that too...but he wanted to start negotiating there.) He started a little speech too (ugh...) and then finally we showed him the internet ad we saw for that specific car. And he became a little speechless, lol. And he went to go talk to his manager.

Over time (I don't remember the details), we not only got that price, my dad was able to knock it down another $1000. Result?

SOLD!!

YAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!! I was so unbelievably happy and shocked that my dad was able to get the price we wanted for the exact car I wanted!!!!!!!

PTL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Man, God does provide. I felt like that God was saying the same thing to me that my dad was saying too: "Just be patient. You don't have to settle for any old car. I want to give you the best."

And He did :)

All the paperwork and everything ended up taking almost 5 hours to complete - we didn't leave the dealership until about 10:30pm. I was WAY hungry and exhausted...but I didn't care because I got to drive my new beautiful car home :)

So yeah - that's the story. After months of research and patience and getting patronizing speeches from other car salesmen, I finally got my car. And I'm beyond excited - I can't wait to drive it more, to give people rides!

I had more fun things happen this weekend too, but this has been a moment in the making :)
Yay for driving!!!!!

Thank you God! Thank you Dad! :) :)

Randomness and happy thoughts

2009-05-12T23:19:00.000-07:00

I wish I had more profound things to blog about, but I don't. My life's pretty good these days, so no feelings of emo-ness. So here are some happy+random thoughts!

*************************************************************************************
My Ode to Shannon
I guess to reflect, I had a really fun night with Shannon! All we did was talk while sipping drinks at Starbucks up until they closed about 30 minutes ago. We probably would have kept going if we could, but alas, we're both working girls, and it's wayyyyy past our bedtimes, lol.

I LOVE talking to Shannon. We don't keep in touch as much as we used to, but when we do, it's so fun catching up, as if nothing's ever changed. We love sharing all the stupid things we said or did with one another or funny things that happen at work or wherever. It's seriously never a dull moment with her. And she's so blunt, sarcastic and just so funny. And we're so different, but we just click. I love hanging out with her because with her, there's this easiness and almost innocence with her, in the sense that I don't have to be an adult and mature and be serious all the time. When I'm with her I feel like we're both back in high school talking about all the crazy trouble we've been up to. And I guess since I'm at work all day, it's so nice to have that change, to remind me that we're both still young, too young to be taking ourselves too seriously.

I hope we never lose that part of our relationship.
I'm truly grateful for her :)
*************************************************************************************
Current playlist:
- Keri Hilson: Alienated, Energy, Knock You Down
- Anberlin: Retrace (on repeat...)
- Keith Urban: Standing Right in Front of You, I'm In, You're My Better Half, Somebody Like You
- Joe: If I Was Your Man
- Jon Schmidt: Love Story Meets Viva La Vida
- Tim Be Told: Not Good Enough, Ordinary, Getting By (sigh...wish I got to see them live...)
- Jason Mraz: 1000 Things
- Brooke Fraser: Arithmetic
*************************************************************************************
I actually miss Stephen (my lil brother). I wanna see him! Who's up for a roadtrip to Irvine??? :)
*************************************************************************************
I wish Berkeley people weren't in finals...I wanna play!!! *Sigh* good luck though! And congrats to the seniors!! :)
*************************************************************************************
San Diego in 24 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*************************************************************************************
Sigh....I don't wanna go to work tomorrow...
Time to get ready for bed now!
TTYL! :)

Daddy's little girl.

2009-05-05T09:22:00.001-07:00

Since my last blog entry was dedicated to my mom, this one's for my dad.

Wow...I forgot how cool my dad was.

He's definitely 'acts of service'.
Maybe that's why I'm such a princess, because he takes care of me so well.

I told him last night how I was struggling to find a car - I know he's been busy lately with work, so I decided to look on my own. But the ones that I found were more expensive or not exactly the ones I wanted. He just told me, "It's ok...we'll find one, a really great one. One that not only is the one you want, but a great value too. Don't worry, there's no rush."

We ended that conversation and I forgot we even talked about it.
And this morning, I get an email from him with a list of at least 10 cars that he found within my price range and exactly the kind of car I wanted. And he sent it at 2:30am.

Man, I wish I was home so I could give him a big hug.
How could I have forgotten how lucky I am??
I guess I am, and always will be, Daddy's little girl...

Mom and daughter time

2009-05-04T09:14:00.000-07:00

Why do ppl say my blog is emo?

It's pink!! And I'm not emo! I don't know HOW to be emo!
And I like the rain...weirdos...

So, it rained again this weekend. This, among other things, made me happy :)

The biggest surprise was spending time with my mom. Things have been so difficult between us lately that it's become hard not to get angry with her in every conversation we have, whether about small or big issues. But for some reason, for a brief period, we were good. I needed to go to Michael's to pick up some craft stuff, so I went with her to run errands on Saturday morning, just like we used to do almost every week. She laughed at me because I had woken up early and I had extra time to get ready, so I went on this errand run all dressed up while she went in her comfy non-matching clothes. (But hey, she didn't know who I was going to be seeing later...some pretty important ppl ;))

We ended up just going to Michaels and Orchard Supply - she needed to get some gardening stuff and I was definitely not dressed appropriately for the task, lol. I got dirt all over my nice peacoat and my boots got wet, but I didn't mind.

The best part was just how peaceful it was to spend time with her. We talked and we were actually happy, not mad at each other. She wasn't criticizing me about what I was doing or not doing, not nagging me about house chores, or not debating with me on my spending habits. I also wasn't getting frustrated with her, or rolling my eyes at the stupid or illogical things she was saying or getting angry but then keeping all the bitterness inside so as not to make the situation worse. She asked me about my life, what's been new with me, the people I hang out with, my friends, my church, and my work. It's like I had forgotten that she cared about me. And like I had forgotten how to talk to her. But during this particular rainy day, it all fell together. God gave us some time to really bond and catch up. And that's how I want it to be - I want my mom to be a part of my life, I want to do things right and communicate openly, not in a sense where she needs to know what I'm doing at every waking moment (like when she tries to enforce a curfew on me - that's cute, Mom). But it's more like I want her to know what I'm doing and what makes me happy or excited so she can be happy and excited with me. And the same vice versa. She shared with me about the bible study she was leading that night (aww...a family of bible study leaders! Hehe), the new paintings she's working on, and the ideas she had for how she wanted to make the garden prettier. It was so nice.

Let's hope we can keep this going, but hey - I'll take it one day at a time.

The big 2-3

2009-04-30T10:55:00.000-07:00

My birthday week is still going, haha.

I don't know why people don't make a big deal about birthdays. It's YOUR special day! (Or in my case, it's my week!!!) I know people see their birthday as a milestone for another year loss, maybe a year of regrets, or as the inevitability of their mortality, which I can totally understand.

...but where's the fun in that?
I like my birthday not just so I can toot my own horn, but I reflect back on how far I've come in a year. I used to make birthday lists of things I wanted and 99% of the time, I would get only 1 thing on that list on my actual birthday. But then I found that throughout the year, I got the rest of that list in some way, shape or form. (So the next year, I'd have to start all over again)
Talk about blessings, man! What's so sad and depressing about that?

I am truly blessed in my life. And this year was no exception....only in the sense that it was probably the best birthday I've had yet :)
So thank you to everyone who made it special for me - just being with you and spending time with you makes me happy :)

And if you find that you're someone who usually gets sad on your birthday, just let me know. I'll take care of it for you ;)

Highlights: Skates, Alta Vista, downtown LG, Pedro's, Pinkberry, late night conversations, sunny Sunday+favorite shirt, Santana Row :), Sushi O Sushi, Yogurtland, catching up with the girls, Coriya+sg <3 (missed you Sareen, Ealeen, and Jenny!)

*************************************************************************************
Bring it on, summer movies!
May 1: X-Men, Ghosts of Girlfriends Past
May 8: Star Trek
May 22: Terminator Salvation
May 29: Up!
June 24: Transformers 2
July 1: Public Enemies
July 15: Harry Potter
July 17: 500 Days of Summer
August 7: GI Joe
August 14: The Time Traveler's Wife

Let's go!!!

Back from break, back to work

2009-04-20T11:09:00.003-07:00

New York is such an interesting place. So very fascinating, so very fun, so very exciting - a great place to be when you're young, and have nothing better to do :)

There's so much to see and do when you're here - and everything is so accessible (love love love the subway station!! but not at night...).

Everyone moves so quickly - things are much more fast-paced. It's also a very diverse place - I don't know if it's because of all the tourism, but I heard multiple languages being spoken everywhere I went. But yeah - New York City exemplifies a lot of what America is about - a big melting pot for different cultures, a place where everyone can make it work, or have the opportunity to try. People are busy, crazy, happy, mean, tricky, friendly, and every other adjective you can think of to describe a person (lol...yes i know that's vague but just let it be...).

I had a lot of fun with Gina exploring this place. There were so many places and things we did and saw, but there were still so many more that we didn't get to do or see. Well, next time then :)

Highlights:
- Late Night Show with Jimmy Fallon, Akon performed!!
- Flight of the Conchords at Radio City Music Hall - hilarious!
- Knicks Game at Madison Square Garden
- Broadway Show: August - sooo good!
- Metropolitan Museum
- Pig N Whistle
- basically running around NYC trying to find our way

In addition to fun in NY, I had a fabulous weekend with my girls :)
<3 Sareen, Jenny, Ashley, Susie, Gena, Joanne, Ealeen (and Karen!) <3

More highlights:
- Shopping in SF
- Ann's Kitchen with Jenny
- Cal Day
- Cheesecake Factory dinner!
- Staying up late (til 4:30am) talking
- Brunch with Jimmy :)
- Church <3

Boy am I exhausted. But I'm happy. I just didn't want the week/weekend to be over.
Back to the worklife now....

my loves

2009-04-09T10:24:00.000-07:00

Sareen.Ellie.Ealeen.Jenny.Emily.Gena.

I love them so very much. They're like my little sisters. I wish they knew how much I care about them, how much I think about them, how much I worry about them, how they are in my prayers. I hope they do...even if it's not through words, but through my actions.

I might not know them as well as I'd like, but I love them for who they are. For their commitment to my sg or to church or even to me as a friend and sister. They are such beautiful girls - I truly hope they know that and that I have shown them that truth in some way.

It's funny though - Mike told me last night that it was really cool how the girls get excited to see me, that I really love them and it's apparent in the way they react when I come to see them. That totally warmed my heart :)

I'm always worried that I'm not doing enough, that I'm not "cool" enough, that I'm not there for the girls as much as I could, that I'm not what they need. I sometimes forget that it's just enough to "be". I put way too much pressure on myself, sometimes to the point where I forget the importance of just being myself and that people actually like that (haha) and that's all they ask for.

And the truth is, I need them as much as (if not more) they need me. They might need an older sister/person to be looking out for them, someone to talk to, or just someone to hang out with. But I need them too, in my own way. It's nice to feel connected to people, to people I care about, to be able to serve others. And I really like being an "older sister" figure :) It makes me happy, and it just feels natural to me. And what's cool is that it's one of the goals I had from last summer - to be an older sis/mentor to someone. And while I have a long way to go, it's nice to have some girls who let me be a part of their lives.

So girls - if you ever randomly come across my blog and read this, know that I'm here for you. I love my girls <3

welcome back rain!

2009-04-07T22:27:00.000-07:00

It rained today!
What a lovely surprise - a nice change of pace.

Yes the sun has been nice, but the rain is a nice reminder that we need the dark to love the light. So in itself, you can learn to love the dark.

Yeah??

Ok, maybe that only makes sense to me. Or at least, the rain still makes me happy.
One of my favorite things in the world is to hear the soft pitter-patter sound of the rain. So even if it's just temporary, I'll enjoy it while it lasts!

<3

and <3<3 Keith Urban. Still.
:)

yay!!

2009-04-07T21:37:00.000-07:00

Fridge update! (lol)

It's still alive!! All is well again :)
We got it fixed...the food is safe.

Carry on...

In other news...I am loving the new Keith Urban CD!! I forgot how much I love country music :)

goodbye fridge...you've been good to me...

2009-04-06T22:39:00.001-07:00

Today I came home to an awful smell - the kitchen smelled like burning, like gas or burnt wires or something funky. Sure enough, our fridge is broken :(

All that food going to waste....sad day.

Despite the sadness that comes from losing all that food in the fridge, it's kinda funny when things break or go wrong. My mom starts freaking out - this time she panicked and made my dad move the fridge to look behind it. While he was looking at it (probably not really knowing what he was doing) my mom frantically cleaned the floor and sniffing the fridge, trying to see where the gas-smell was coming from, all while yelling that she's scared the house is going to burn down. (What is it about my mom [or maybe moms in general] that immediately think about worse case scenarios when something goes wrong?!? Drives me crazy....)
And my poor dad, he doesn't know anything about refrigerators! But my mom kept asking him, "What's wrong with it? Where is that smell coming from? Fix it!!" Hahaha...oh parents.

Thus goes another day in the Ray family household!

"reprioritizing"

2009-04-03T16:19:00.000-07:00

*Sigh*
Meeting didn't go as expected today. I thought we'd get more support from the execs, but all they wanted were metrics, to do away with the initiatives that we have but were not strong in. But Michelle and I (and the rest of the CSR teams) know we can't just drop them. New plan - do what we're already doing, do it well and also do what the execs want. Fun stuff.

I wonder how frustrated Michelle must have been in the meeting. She handled it well though, like a champ. I'm sure she's done this a million times, but I'm still new to all this. I love going into meetings with high-powered execs and in addition to being in the meeting, I like watching them present. Presentation skills are everything - you can convince anyone of anything (almost) if you can present it well, present it with confidence, be assertive, and not let questions from left field phase you. Michelle gracefully replied to the execs critiques in the best way possible without creating any more tension. What a skill to possess.

But it must be hard though - the things they said weren't awful; it just showed that what we are doing in her department isn't a priority for them. And frankly, might not ever be. They want numbers. They want results. They want clear cut action items. We already know all this stuff, but we thought they'd want to know more about the program, the initiatives and issues we're battling. Nope - they want none of that. Business can be so scary and ruthless sometimes, not really caring who they leave behind.

But it's ok. We'll be ok.

Not the best way to end the work week, but Monday will be the start of another week. And our work must go on.

So this was kind of a lame post about work. I'll probably post something more interesting later.
Only 30 more minutes to go!

Things aren't as bad as I thought.

2009-04-02T10:07:00.000-07:00

So many thoughts, so many struggles, so many feelings...I wish I were more eloquent, and that I had more time to write down all of these things.

I've missed small group. I forgot how much I need it, need them. I read, I prep, I worry, I get anxious, I freak out, I get discouraged. But then it all comes together every Wednesday night. Then I know it's not about me. And then it all falls into place.

My favorite part of the lesson this week:
"Recognize that in every moment of your life, God longs to give you the blessing of his presence and love, and longs to make you live to the fullest."
(NT Wright)

Wow. I so did not know that.
But I do now.
Ah...the power of knowledge :)

So thank you God, thank you everyone, for making an awful day turn into something greater.

White mocha musings

2009-03-28T19:28:00.000-07:00

I'm at Sacks Cafe right now and it feels appropriate to blog. It feels like such a hipster - no, more yuppie - thing to do, haha.

As I'm sipping my iced white mocha in the lovely cafe waiting for Annie to finish practice, I realize I feel so content right now in this moment. I feel so far away from my problems, which seem to always be at home in Los Gatos. And I say this a lot - Berkeley has almost become my escape. It makes me happy to be here, surrounded (well, not right now) by the people I love. But even now, when I'm by myself, I'm just happy to be away from home, in an area I'm familiar with and comfortable in. I don't care that no one in this cafe knows who I am (except for Julian, my old building manager from the old apartment, lol...AWKWARD...AND CREEPY!!), I don't have to answer to anyone, I can do whatever I want.

I wonder when this feeling goes away. I feel like I've left my heart in Berkeley, at LW, in the friendships I made during my time here. And I'm not quite ready to let them go. But will there be a time when I'll have to? When it doesn't make sense for me to keep this up? When will that happen? When everyone I'm close with leaves LW/Berkeley? Will I just feel like I need to stay in San Jose? Will that be the "right" thing to do?

Growing up is so overrated. There are so many things that I should do, but I just don't want to. There are easy logical things to do, and there are those that are a little more difficult but bring me more joy. Like going to Livingwater. No one in my family understands - nor really cares to understand - why it's so important for me to keep going to church in Berkeley. It's my community, my family, my home. I love it here. I grow here. I'm challenged here. I'm loved here. Isn't that what church should be like? So why spend/waste the time looking for another church anywhere else, to try and find new relationships? Why do all that, when I've already found a great church?

Am I just kidding myself?

I don't really know. But I do know that right now, there's no where else I'd rather be. I'm happy in Berkeley, in LW. I think I'll reevaluate in a couple months, but for now, I want to fully commit to the church in this time.

Speaking of which, I should prep for small group now ;)
My mocha's gone now. Sigh....
Ta ta for now! :)

My Dunder Mifflin

2009-03-26T22:53:00.000-07:00

This week has been an interesting week. After talking to a few friends, I've discovered I am not the only one who's not 100% productive during work hours. In fact, all of us have experienced days where we're not sure we accomplished much of anything. Funny how that makes us all feel better, lol.

I wonder how much work I would actually get done if I was 100% productive for all the time I'm in the office. Wow.

I wonder how many other people at Adobe feel like this.

Anyhoo....I am totally looking forward to the weekend already :)
I'm coming to Berkeley! And staying at Annie and Jenny's awesome place in Alameda! Yay!
Counting down the hours already...

Back to work....but first!!...recap!

2009-03-23T09:56:00.000-07:00

This weekend was quiet, nice and relaxing. I didn't plan for it to be that way, but it was good nonetheless :)

I came home early on Friday because I was getting restless at work, and most people had left before 5pm. But I came home, excited to be off work, and what do I do? I fall asleep, lol. I didn't realize I was so tired. But it was a GOOD nap. One that I needed. (<3 sleep) I woke up and had dinner, goofed off for a little bit, called Gena to talk for a bit while she was on the road to LA, and then spent forever trying to figure out what movie to watch. It came down to Sound of Music and Pride and Prejudice. Sound of Music won :) I just love love love this movie. And because it's so long, most people don't like watching it with me, so I figured I'd watch it myself. Sounds kinda lame, but I didn't care.

Saturday was a weird day. Mom woke me up to tell me she and Dad were going to the hospital because her eye was really hurting and she was worried something was stuck in it. So she asked me to do the laundry while she was gone. That ended up being the bulk of my day - laundry duty. I did go running too - I just wish running wasn't so hard! I didn't feel great afterwards, but I was glad I went because I know if I hadn't, I just would have wasted time online. I thendid 3 loads of laundry, cleaned the kitchen (kinda), and just did little things here and there, nothing big or important. I sent out emails to all the people I supported for Nicaragua and got back a few replies, which was nice. I kinda wish I went with them - all missions trips sound fun and exciting, but I think it would have been really cool to be able to build a well. It's such a tangible and easy way to help the people of Nicaragua. It came be hard to move people spiritually, but people understand providing fundamentally for their physical needs and compassion. I just hope and pray it all goes well for this week. I hope everyone stays healthy and safe and that the well is built quickly and sturdy.

Anyhoo, around dinner time, I was getting a craving for pizza. Good hot delivered/takeout pizza. So Solomon and I spent an hour trying to look online for good deals at the local pizza places: Papa Johns, Round Table, Pizza Hut, etc. We settled on Pizza Hut (to try something different; last time we got Papa Johns) but the Pizza Hut website was AWFUL. It was so hard to navigate and some of the coupon deals didn't work and it was just annoying on top of our internet being so very slow (ugh...lame DSL). After an hour or two, we finally gave up and settled on buying pizza at Safeway. Oh and I didn't realize it was raining, so we drove to Safeway (...which is like 2 blocks from my house, lol). I ran into Gene, Michelle, Perry and Brenda and had a slightly uncomfortable and unintentially awkward conversation. I don't know how it got that way but it did...I hope we can just forget that weird vibe was there! Anyways, we ended buying frozen Safeway pizza (lol) and then rented Tropic Thunder from the DVD kiosk by the checkout counter. I ate my pizza - it was somewhat satisfying...I was so tired of thinking about any other pizza by that point - and then watched the movie. The movie was ok - there was a lot of profanity (like almost every other word) and gore (well it was fake, but it looked gross) and some of it was just weird humor. It was funny overall, but it's not something I'd watch over and over again. Robert Downing Jr was so hilarous and convincing as a black man, it was almost scary. After the movie, I went back to my room and finished working on the bulletin, summer tour application and liability forms that Sam wanted. I didn't get to bed until 3am! I didn't to stay up that late; I just did.

The next morning, I woke up around 9:30 to go to church with Mom and Dad (so Annie could meet me there). I ended up staying in Dad's Sunday School class for a little bit and watched him teach. I wish I understood what he was saying, but it sure did sound like he knew what he was talking about! It was cool to see him so comfortable as a teacher, that all this information was so logical to him - he rarely looked down at his notes because he probably knew the passages inside out.

Annie came around 11:30am and we headed to Berkeley. We stopped by her place in Alameda first to drop off her stuff. We then got to church and I printed out the bulletins and she folded them. I was getting sleepy so I got some coffee at Sacks Cafe (<3 white mochas!!). Church service was smaller because most of the college students went home for the spring break and our Nic team was gone, but it was a really nice service. I really liked it; it reminded me when our church was smaller and more intimate. Sam preached a really good thought-provoking sermon so props to him. And it was less stressful talking to people since there were less people around. I met some new people and talked with some people I don't normally talked to. I know it's not always going to be like that, but it was a nice change of pace.

After church, I headed back home. I took the BART, then the 180 bus, and finally transfered to the 62 bus and got home around 7pm. It was still light out so it wasn't so bad. I ate dinner, bummed around online for a bit, talked to Stephen while he was walking to and from Albertons, and then got ready to hang out with Shannon and Jimmy. We went to the Fantasia in Cupertino but it was super crowded. We got hot bobas and just sat in Jimmy's car and chatted. (Random: I ran into Andrew Huang there who apparently lives 2 streets down.) It was good to see them and catch up. And it was nice to have social interaction in this weekend.

So yeah, that's pretty much it. The entry's long, but the content is relatively mundane, lol. Not an exciting weekend, but that's ok. It was nice.

So here's to hoping for a fun and exciting work week! Woo hoo!

little black dress

2009-03-20T14:55:00.000-07:00

Oh little black dress...won't you be mine??
Love it...but don't need it...
I'm not shallow, I swear!

women of influence

2009-03-18T22:40:00.001-07:00

Tonight I attended the SJ Business Journal's Women of Influence Awards. Michelle was an honoree so I felt pretty obligated to go and support her. I'm glad I did - I got to talk to Jennifer and Margaret and met Cheryl, who is also a Berkeley alum. I was more worried it would be awkward and that I would be too tired, but I was fine. The food was good and the event itself was relatively short and sweet, which we all appreciated.

The idea around the award was that it was honoring the women in the Silicon Valley who are powerful and influential in their roles. Most of these women were not only senior executives at their companies but also actively involved in the betterment of their community. And it's a great thing that Michelle was selected as one of the 100 women of influence in San Jose. She deserves it.

The night made me think about myself (haha of course...how very egotistical of me) and who I want to become. I would love to someday stand on that same podium and receive some recognition as a woman of "influence." Influence - what a strong and powerful word. The ability to make a difference is a powerful trait to have. One that I would love to have. But I don't feel I'm on that path right now. All these women, with their graceful humility in accepting this award, seemed to have this driving passion in all of them. A sort of assertiveness, risk-taking trait, one that prevents them from ever taking no for an answer, that is probably the key to their successes.

How do you get to that point? How do you find that one thing you are passionate about, that you are willing to spend your life savings on, work countless hours for? How do you get to that place in your life where you believe in yourself so much that that's all that drives you, not what others think of you or what the world tells you is a good/bad idea?

That's the kind of woman I want to be. But I don't know how to be her. I need to find that inner strength, inner confidence, that passion that's waiting for me to explore. I don't know if that part of me exists, but I want to spend my life finding it.

Still love Fridays...

2009-03-13T23:38:00.000-07:00

These sunny days are making me miss the rain...

Today was a good day. I was actually busy at work. Michelle said I was doing a great job *pat on back*. It's nice to have that encouragement every once in a while since I'm not really sure if I've been doing things right. So yay :)

Talked to Stephen, cleaned room, had a lovely dinner, and then went to get Merry Strawberry Pearl Tea at Fantasia at Santana Row with Audrey. This was the first time that I have ever seen and been through a DUI check point. I think it's a great idea, but man - it does generate a lot of backed up traffic. Oh well, it's worth it. But it was funny that they still checked us even though it was barely 10pm and all we had was boba.

Came home and played Blockles. Haha...of course.
So Friday was a success. Surprisingly, I was expecting to stay up late, but I am (finally) sleepy, and it's a quarter til midnight. Back to old sleeping pattern!

Good night! Here's to an even better (hopefully productive) day tomorrow!

DVF <3

2009-03-12T09:33:00.001-07:00

OMG...I need a reason to wear a pretty spring flowy dress...so I can justify spending $250 on one...

tgif

2009-03-06T18:55:00.001-08:00

I'm so happy it's Friday.
The only thing that would make tonight better would be if it were raining outside.
Then I wouldn't feel as lame for staying at home on a Friday night.
Not that it matters.
I'm happy to be home - I can't wait to do nothing - watch TV or a movie, hang out, listen to music, and then SLEEP.

***************

I forgot how much I loved Keith Urban.
Oh "Sweet Thing" <3<3<3>

sick day.

2009-03-05T16:58:00.000-08:00

Yup - that's my hotness up there. Enjoy.

Ugh...I hate being sick.
I should have stayed at home.
But no....my stupid self decided not to use a PTO. So now my body's mad at me.

And now I have that sexy sick voice. And every once in a while, I'll have some phlegm stuck in my throat, so I get to make lovely sounds as I attempt to clear it.

Only 50 more minutes...

rainy day love song

2009-03-03T19:27:00.000-08:00

It's raining again. So I'm inspired to write.

This picture is from the first night I was in Japan. I was so excited to be in another country after 20 hours of flying to get there. And it was pouring rain. It was pretty ridiculous. I have so many memories from my time there, but the one that I was reminded of tonight was one of the rain. In Japanese cities, there are so many city lights, it's like the sky is a constant orange haze, never the black dark sky that it was naturally intended to be. But it didn't make me upset. I just remember waiting at a stoplight and looking up at the rain and it was just absolute perfection. The way the rain softly fell down from the sky, the gentle pitter patter on my umbrella and the way the light shined through each drop - in a word - perfection. It was so breathtakingly beautiful. And just to me. I'm pretty sure no one else was stopped on the sidewalk in awe of the perfect angle of the lights against the glistening water. But for some strange silly reason I couldn't look away.

And I did what any tourist in Japan would do - I took a picture with my camera on its last few minutes of battery life. But alas, the picture that came out was crap (see above). The picture did not do the moment justice at all. I tried again, but it was even blurrier. So I gave up trying to artificially capture that moment and decided to do it the old fashioned way - I tried my hardest to ingrain the view in my memory.

So here's all that's left - my feeble attempt at recreating that moment. My words are the only way I can ever express that moment to anyone else. But that moment? It's in my head, now and til the end of time.

This is my rainy day love song.

Oh fleeting moment,
How I wish I could go back to that time
When the world stopped
And I tried to capture you
To remember
To soak it in
To keep you forever
Oh fleeting moment
Where have you gone?
Stay with me
Stay awhile.

Hola

2009-03-03T14:51:00.000-08:00

Haha...I just liked this name for a blogger - don't really know if I'm going to write in here.
But hello :)
Thanks for stopping by!!